Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Personal attachments

I've always found it interesting to assess who you "click" with. This is harder to do with people you've known for a long time, but moving around is a great experiment in your likeability of others and your clickability. Let me explain what I mean...

Let's consider likeability the more superficial of these two terms. Likeability has to do with meeting someone you think is nice, a good person to hang out with, a potential friend. You can like someone but they might not like you that much in return. Like a girl I met a while back who texted me 6 times in a day (a few days after we met) to ask if we would go out a week later... I was just not that interested in blocking my time that far in advance.

Clickability on the other hand is much deeper. When you click you know that you will be great friends, regardless of the short time since you've met. Clicking happens fast and is also more rare. I remember a now great friend with whom I got a 4 hour car ride back from a conference. She did not know me so she asked a 3rd girl to come with us. Poor girl... she had to listen to us talking non-stop for hours! As if catching up after a long time... I think people can even click on chat conversations, although there is a bigger chance of erring there. But when you click it also seems that reciprocity is high... rarely do you click with someone and the other person doesn't (at least when considering only friendships... love distorts impressions ;o). The other great point is that this perception is lasting: no matter how long it's been since you last spoke, it never takes much effort to pick up from where you left.

But moving around makes you leave these great friends behind... of course you might find others, but this is a good argument to settle :P That is... unless your friends move around as much as you do, in which case it is not surprising you clicked in the first place!

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