Monday, May 16, 2011

Parties and mingling

As you read from the previous post, this weekend was packed with parties. And on my list such huge parties, with tons of unknown people don't rank very high. Having to shout and straining ears to have a conversation usually is enough to put off any energy I have to meet new people (not that I have that much... usually talking to strangers in such parties requires a huge effort for me). So if you don't know many people and don't feel like meeting new people what are the alternative options? Smoking, drinking, and eating, it seems. Well, I don't smoke and drinking to oblivion is also not something I do often. Eating, well, it is good, but I usually try not to do it the whole night. And as the people around you get drunker, the less interesting they generally become and the slower time seems to pass.  I'm aware I sound quite boring here, but if I'm with a group of friends, or a smaller party it works much better.

And how is A. in such a situation? As a true extrovert (seems like we are in a similar situation Cyn) he enjoys the crowd. He easily picks up conversations with anyone, entertains half a dozen at a time and in between has some drinks and smokes. Plus, in the parties this weekend, he had all his colleagues around, many of whom are now doing internships and had not seen each other in a few weeks. And A. is a night owl, who seems to have endless energy in the wee hours of the morning. So for A. these parties were great.

How to reconcile these divergent views on partying? In the first two parties (that were on campus) I just went home earlier than A. Although I would have loved to go home with him, he was obviously having too much fun, plus he had volunteered for the post-party cleanup team, which meant he was about the last to leave. The last party was in Paris though, a 45 minute bus ride from home. And we were tired. So initially A. was keen on leaving early... that is, until the party started picking up speed. But at the end he was very nice to leave with me at 1am. He wasn't happy about it and made it clear, but it was definitely nice to go back together to spend some extra hours awake in the morning before I left for Oslo. I am glad all this partying is over... I'm tired of seeming like the needy wife that wants attention.


  1. Yeah just reading the word huge party is enough to make me feel uncomfy, I hate them :) I always end up being in very awkward territory too, small talk with complete stranger in loud music, not my thing, and as you pointed out what's left to do? Smoke drink and eat. Like you I don't smoke, I don't drink much more than one or two glass of wine, and seriously how much food can you eat without looking rude or bulimic?
    I try to avoid such gathering, if I can't I generally find an excuse to leave early. DH don't mind big parties, but he doesn't live for them so that makes it easy for us.

  2. Hi Cyn,
    I usually avoid these parties when there are no friends around. And A. likes them but does not live for them either... which makes a few parties once in a while ok.

    Is it my impression or are there a lot of extrovert indians with introvert goris out there??

  3. Wow. really amazing information. I am Black American and it is refreshing to hear people from other countries who met Americans or traveled to America and noticed how OBSESSED whites are with race here. Its a real sickness. I almost wish we were like Brazil in that if there were so many different people, whites would have to get over their white privilege and acknowledge that Jesus made and will save those of every TRIBE, TONGUE and NATION.

    I came to this sight because I am a "salsera" that recently became addicted to Samba. I'm taking a class now and learning more every day about the history of your country, music and culture. God bless! (Black Salsa mama from St. Louis)

  4. Hey Black Salsa Mama,
    Thanks for your comment. But it did seem to me that in the US each group sticks to itself, being white, black, latino, etc. And once I asked a black student about why and she seemed puzzled and replied: should it be otherwise? So it seems to be a cultural thing rather than a racial issue. At least from my experience and point of view. And you should definitely come to Brazil and make up your mind about it since my opinions would obviously be biased :)