Sunday, November 28, 2010

Back to the freezer

After being in Paris for a whole 10 days it is time to go back to Oslo (aka the freezer). Sad to be leaving Paris? Definitely. Sorry to be going to Oslo? Not really. The 10 days here in Paris were great to spend time with A.. We did a lot of sight seeing and partying (I'm still recovering from Friday...), spent time together, etc like the good ol' days in Raleigh. But it is also easy to see that my life is not here.

- First, I've never been good at working from home. There is always something more interesting to do, be it cooking, dishes, cleaning or even just plain procrastinating. I also don't like to work by myself and enjoy the sounds of people chatting, occasional hellos and just not feeling like I am the only one who's stuck in a place with work (I wrote my PhD thesis at coffee shops where I knew all the owners and got special deals). So working from a 40m2 apartment the entire week was crazy (and not very productive).

- It is evident that A.'s life is here: his work, his friends, his gossip, he knows the quirks and the ways things work. And it is hard to catch up! Whenever we go out I hang out with A. (primarily) or anyone that cares to "network" with me (it is crazy how these MBA's calculate how much time they are spending on each person and have to rationalize it as networking). Most of A.'s class (around 75%) are single males... which means they are on a hunt, especially for younger French girls from the rest of the university. The married ones usually don't go out and I cannot really relate much to the housewives who's main topic of conversation is shopping and kids. Having no one to talk to is tough! But, hey, I've been sitting on the same chair by myself the whole day and NEED to spend some of my daily word quota!

- This means that not only was I working from home, but as soon as A. got back I would flood him with questions, conversation, chatting and talking which he doesn't like. I understand that when you are mentally tired and have been around people the entire day you might not want to chat. As the week went on A. became more and more intolerant to random questions... "Why do you think the bar is so empty?" "Is there going to be food at the Japanese week event?" "Where is X from?" Not that I really cared about the answers, and a plain "Don't know." would have done the trick. I admit I was trying to keep his attention and was not doing a good job. But to blow up after 2 innocent questions is a bit much to take. I understand he does not have all info but he's the best and only source of information I have so sometimes I ask just to see if there is any info out there, not that I really need it.

So while in Paris I get to have A. close by, I think it is high time to get back to where my life is. Oslo is where I am motivated to work in a team, where I have a schedule, where I get things done, and where I have some friends. But on the other hand I'm just hoping this year apart will fly by so that we can just get back to having both lives in the same place...


  1. I can relate to some extent, Dh and I have had our share of long distance over the year. I found out I'm much less crabby and going nut when I'm in a place I have friends. His job being a consultant's job he travels, and the last few months of us living in Mumbai have been very though on me because I don't know the place, and have no friends there, and even though he hasn't been travelling that much in the past few months I can see we are both tensed awkward and yes I tend to ask zillion questions just to fill the silence :)

  2. I wonder if you have read Men are from Mars women are from Venus? If you haven't yet may I suggest you do. It will definitely show you why A does not like to answer questions when he comes back from work. Guess its a man thing but generally they want to go into a cave and process what happened during the day. I personally found it fascinating reading because I learnt so much about how people are hard wired to behave in a certain manner.

  3. Hi Cyn,
    I've read your blog while in Paris and yes, things in Paris are similar to your view of life in Mumbai.

    Hi cj,
    Yup, have read the book and keep thinking about it when disagreements like questions arise. And that's why I need some friends around so that I can talk before meeting A. (read the article about the word quota I link to?).

    Thanks for your comments!